


Green (Tree Bros)

by fairylightsandrainydays



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, M/M, no happy ending, this is all just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairylightsandrainydays/pseuds/fairylightsandrainydays
Summary: Loosely based on a verse from Cavetown's song, Green.CW: Mentions of su*c*de
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	Green (Tree Bros)

Connor Murphy was floating. He'd been floating for the past few months, since he'd swerved off the road, right into a tree. People back there thought that it was an accident, that he'd swerved to miss a deer. He'd swerved for a different reason. He guessed you know what I'm talking about. 

The day he went, he'd found a letter that hadn't meant to be found, and he found out that his crush wasn't in love with him. He figured he shouldn't have expected it, but it still hurt. And, at this point, Evan (that's his crush) was the only thing holding him together. He figured he was in the same situation that his favorite fictional character, Baz Pitch,was going through, when he was trapped in that coffin. Really the only thing that kept Connor going was the thought of seeing Evan, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. The only difference?

Baz got the boy. 

Connor got a tree. 

And here's the ironic thing - If Connor had just... kept driving, lived to see even one more day, he might have found out that Evan wanted to apologize. He might have become his friend. He might have.....

No. Connor shouldn't even consider it. 

But when he woke up, the day after, he saw Evan. He saw Evan writing an apology letter. To him. He saw Evan's reaction when he was told that Connor was gone. 

He, too, saw Evan lying his way to his sister.

He saw Evan faking emails.

Faking friends.

Faking life.

He wasn't mad, really. 

Just disappointed. Evan Hansen was supposed to be _good._ He was supposed to be the good kid, the one that loved his parents, had a girlfriend, had a happy life.

Maybe there would be bumps and scratches along the way, but still.

He wasn't supposed to be like this.

Like....

Connor.

But he was. And Connor couldn't do anything about it.

Except watch and listen.

He found a pair of earbuds and phone in his pocket, that first day.

The only song that would play was 

"Green" by Cavetown.

Ironic, isn't it?

_You looked so good in green  
I hope you're well  
And you look so good with him  
And I'm proud of you still  
I miss your perfect teeth  
I was too blunt  
I hope you feel happy  
That's all I want  
That's all I want._

Connor wanted Evan to be happy, more than anything else. 

He wasn't the kind of person to steal someone just for his own personal gain.

He couldn't be that kind of person.

He didn't really want to hurt other people.

Sure, he threw a printer at his second grade teacher.

Or that's what they say. He didn't mean to.

He couldn't control it.

That's what he told - or tried to tell his parents.

He'd been petty, but he'd been cheated.

He shouldn't have thrown the printer, but he also should have been told that he'd been moved.

It's petty that he's still mad about it, but he wants to feel _something_.

There's a time after Death.

It's called Fade.

It's when you have nothing to live for.

So when Connor gets tapped on the shoulder,

he doesn't feel it.

When he is spun around, he doesn't see the person that did it.

He doesn't hear sniffles, doesn't see a cast, doesn't feel the hug.

Doesn't see Evan Hansen, come after him.

He's too far gone.

It's all up to Fate.

And when Evan asked,

asked to see Connor one more time,

Fate

said

no.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello rainclouds! Thanks for reading, and remember that kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!  
> <3


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